Monday, March 16, 2009

Blog: Terribly Jealous

Originally Posted August 28, 2007 on MySpace

~ Sunday was soon to be over. The Heorot crowd had dwindled to Ginger, Professor, Gilligan, and myself. A friend of Ginger's phoned her about getting a drink that night, but she didn't drink beer. Ginger asked us if we wouldn't mind heading over to B-Dub's. To be honest, for Ginger's company we wouldn't mind heading over to Ohio.

~ We all drove downtown separately, so we carpooled to B-Dub's. Gilligan rode with Professor. I rode with Ginger. Upon arrival I saw someone I knew. I talked to them for a bit before heading to the table my friends had filled. Now there were two more of us, Ginger's friend who wanted the drink and Ginger's the-jealous-type boyfriend, Skipper. There were no more stools. Ginger jumped up, found a stool for me, and made people scoot over so she could place it next to her stool.

~ As I'm sure you know I'm a terrible flirt. Thanks to Ginger's actions I was already blipping on Skipper's radar screen. For the rest of the night I knew I had to be on my best behavior. Last-call was called the moment we walked in. I could last until close. Twenty minutes past closing time everyone decided they were hungry. Everyone decided to head for Breakfast.

~ Without thinking I get back into Ginger's car. Skipper looks amazed that I could be so brash. I'm thinking, "Shit! All that self-control for nothing." I hatched a little plan. When we got to the restaurant I went directly to the restroom so I couldn't pick my seat. Thereby, nothing could be implied by where I sat or who sat by me. The last seat was directly across from Ginger. See figure 1.

fig.1 (1) (2) (3) (4) [ T A B L E S ] (5) (6) (7) (8) 1. Mrs. Howell 2. Thurston Howell III 3. Ginger 4. Skipper 5. Gilligan 6. Professor 7. Me 8. Empty

~ There was a coloring contest for children, but we participated anyhow. We all chatted and laughed. We colored and ate. Things were going pretty smooth. I think Skipper eased back to DEF CON 3, but he tried his best to out color me. (No chance in hell someone's beating me at the art of crayon coloring.) Everything has an end. The turbulence began when we started talking about Ginger's sister. Ginger lived with her sister and she hated it, but she couldn't afford rent. Professor asked, "Well, you're from this town. Why don't you live with your folks?" Now, I knew from what her sister had told me that moving back home was not an option. So, not having to hear the answer gave me the moment I needed to realize our flight plan was heading straight into Skipper-defended airspace.

~ I lowered my head and colored my picture as if it were the only thing in the world. But, I listened, I schemed, and I pretended I wasn't listening. Everything happened as predicted. After Ginger side stepped Professor's first question Gilligan asked, "Hey! Why don't you move in with Tim? He's still got that extra bedroom." ~ Ginger said, "Should I?" ~ Professor and Gilligan, "You should. It'll be great. He'll cut you a good deal on rent." ~ Ginger, "Sounds good to me." ~ Professor, "What do you think Tim?" ~ "About what?" I said, still looking down, still pretending to be oblivious. ~ Professor, "Can Ginger move in with you?" ~ The plan was to say, "OK." as coolly as possible. The plan was to sound like it was perfectly fine with me either way. The plan was to avoid getting shot at by Skipper while not shooting down Ginger's hopes for refuge. I looked up at her beaming smile and said, "OK!" like it was the best damn idea I'd heard all year.

~ Doh! I did not even look at Skipper with my peripheral vision. I knew he was scrambling fighters, but I thought I could save myself. I talked business. "Don't go getting yourself evicted just yet. I haven't finished remodeling that room." ~ "Well, what's the holdup?" she prodded. "It's been a month since I saw it." ~ "I don't have time. I work 60 hours a week and go to school half-time. What little free time I have I prefer to spend out with you." ~ As soon as I said that Skipper Jumped off his seat and went outside for a smoke. I saw him because that time I was watching in my peripherals for an anti-aircraft cold cock. Professor and Ginger said, "Why did he leave?"

~ Today, I still don't have that bedroom finished. Ginger's got a new man. Ginger's sister decided she doesn't like us anymore, so we never see Ginger. As for being my tenant, I guess it'd be incredibly fun or I'd want to strangle her. Either way any girlfriends I have would be terribly jealous.

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