Monday, March 16, 2009

Blog: That’s What Everyone Tells Me

Originally Posted August 8, 2007 on MySpace

~ Bernie was having a pool party and we were invited. Richard and I worked with Bernie. We saw him as somewhat-pathetic middle-aged bachelor. I say somewhat because though he lived with his mother it was a duplex, and though he got nowhere with girls half his age they would give him the time of day. For his pool party Bernie promised us the bartenders of Motini's, A.K.A.: Weapons of Mass Desirability. Richard and I were skeptical, but we would go and confirm our disbelief.

~ The day of the party arrived. How wonderfully wrong we were. In the far corner of Bernie's lounge sat two of the femme fatels with a male counterpart between them. Was he with one of them? I didn't know. The question could wait for in another corner a lone girl ate potato salad, not a Motini's girl but equally attractive. I grabbed a plate of food and introduced myself to Bernie's mom. Momma Bernie happened to be sitting next to the unknown girl and in less than a minute I shamelessly asked her to introduce us. They hadn't met, but it didn't matter. I was in with Gwen.

~ Soon, Gwen and I were sharing a bowl of homemade ice cream and getting along rather fabulously. She was from Seattle. She was here for a month to visit her father, a friend of Bernie's. She had a week left in town with little noting to do. This was getting promising until I asked, "So, what do you do in Seattle?" ~ "What do you mean?" She puzzled. ~ "What kind of work do you do or are you in school?" ~ "Oh, I'm in school." ~ "What do you study?" ~ "Umm... The usual things I guess. I do take the honors classes. I can't imagine it's any different from what they teach in Indiana." ~ Gwen had me seriously worried now. I dreaded the next question, but I had to ask, "Are you still in high school?" ~ "Yes." ~ Playing it cool, "So, what are you going to study in college?" ~ "I don't know?" ~ "Well you must have some idea. How did you decide which schools to apply for?" ~ "I haven't applied to any yet." ~ "You should have done that as a junior." ~ "But, this coming year I'll be a sophomore." ~ Aaack! "You must be joking. You look 21!" ~ Smiling, "That's what everyone tells me."

~ Somehow I got myself on a tour of the house with Momma Bernie. It took longer than I expected. I was in a pinch and she made an excellent ejector seat, but it worked too well. By the time I landed people were leaving. Gwen gave me a smile and walked out. Her father followed --eyeing me. Next, the two women, who by occupation had to be at least 21, strolled out and flew away. It was just as well that they did. Then Richard walked in. He came in time to see what was leaving. That made me feel a little better about pursuing the wrong girl all afternoon. At least I hadn't missed all the excitement. Then again, he didn't go on that tour.

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