Monday, March 16, 2009

Blog: Modern Grooming Habits for Men

Originally Posted December 7, 2008 on MySpace

~ With my head held high and proud my bangs can touch my chest. My pony tail extends 10 inches. The longest strands run over 15. My hair is lush and soft and shiny and the envy of any woman lucky enough to run her fingers through it. But that's the problem with it.

Hair cuts for menThis one's a short layered cut. My hair would stand straight up at that length and the guy has gel worked in for "texture", AKA: messy. Source: Jack Victor

Hair cuts for menThis one is layered long on the top and shorter on the back and sides. It's also not arched at the ears for a "grown out" look. It's a little longer than I want especially at the nape. Source: Undergear

~ I think I look better with long hair, but I've often wondered how I would know. I'm the only man I find attractive. In fact I'm often shocked to discover who women find attractive. They swoon over George Clooney. I see a pudgy man with a receding hairline. Women lust for Brad Pitt. I see an unkempt scruff in desperate need of a shave. Women have the audacity to desire Sein Connery. Fine if it's a block-shouldered Bond, but no. They want the distended gut with a comb-over. Putting aside the fact that fame and wealth don't obscure my vision, I can't see what women see in these men or any other. That should include me. Then, why do I think I look more attractive with Fabio locks?

~ I had a disturbing thought a few weeks ago. I was brushing my mane in the bathroom mirror. I was reviewing my tastes for women. Aside from the fact that personality and love obscure my vision, I'm a good judge of physical beauty. I do have preferences, but they don't keep me from seeing the beauty in girls who fall outside them. In fact I only consciously recognize patterns in the women who take my breath away after the fact. Then it occurred to me. One of my less recognized preferences is for long hair. Do I grow my hair long because I prefer it in women? Worse, am I unknowingly making myself look feminine on purpose?

~ My friends gladly and frequently affirm this suspicion, but I never trust their jeers. The guys I think are jealous. The girls I think are blinded by preference. Hell, these same girls would tell me balding/scruffy/fat actors are sexy. Though I know adults from all walks of life often mistake me for a woman from the hair, they realize their mistakes as soon as they see the rest of me. I find it amusing when some barfly catches sight of me in his peripherals, then elevators his eyes up to mine. My eyes say, "What are you looking at?" and he quickly turns away in embarrassment. Take that mister media-injected-notions-of-modern-grooming-habits-for-men. Recently however, I've been confronted by the honesty of children.

~ Children have the singular ability to exact wholly innocent reactions. Not yet jaded, they can impart unfiltered honesty. Two children recently confirmed my fears. First, my uncle's family came up from Florida for Thanksgiving. With them came my just-turned-"this many" [Imagine three little fingers held up with almost certainty.] second cousin. She took to me quickly, pretended to read her new book to me. Later she was washing pie off her hands and face, and kept asking me if she'd gotten it all. After 4 or 5 of her own attempts. I came over and helped her wash off the last bit below her nose. ~ This is when she finally asked me, "Are you a boy or a girl?" ~ Did I hear that correctly, "What?" ~ "You have long hair, but your voice is deep like a boy's." ~ The following Sunday I had Thanksgiving with my girlfriend's family. This was the first time I'd met her children, a boy of 2 and a girl of 5, both of them stunningly beautiful children-of-the-corn minus the murder plus sweetness. The boy was casual and friendly. The girl kept a distance. Later, my girlfriend told me her daughter said she didn't like my hair because it's girl's hair.

~ *sigh*

~ Long story short, I'm cutting my hair. After much consideration, I've decided to go with a medium layered cut. If it's too short my hair will stand on end. Also, I refuse to adhere to a style that demands products or attention. I am still open to opinions, but unless you're a child don't expect me to listen.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my blog?


December 29, 2009  
Blogger egomassive said...

That's fine by me.

December 30, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

January 11, 2010  

Post a Comment

<< Home