Monday, May 11, 2009

Blog: Musician

~ I have a look-a-like. He's a musician with a silver strat. He plays in my region. This is all I know. I've never heard my name. I've never heard my music. I have heard plenty of compliments. Apparently I'm good, but not good enough for anyone to bother remembering who I am. The first one to inform me of my alternate persona was a pretty little barista at my local caffeine store. The night before, her band opened for me in Dayton. She was so surprised to see me in her Muncie shop, that she had to question if I was who she thought I was. I wasn't of course.

My guitar apparently. (click for source.)

~ I was in a dark mood that day. I hardly felt like flirting, but she had a bit of a crush on me from the night before. Weird that. Females and their feelings are so fickle, but a transferred fall? His music and his face knock her over one evening, then my face, the same face mind you, and my charm catch her the next morning. These thoughts were too strange for a dark day especially with her smile beaming my way. In the end, I got her band's name, and promised to check it out.

~ The attraction for me was minimal. Sure, when I went out for a cup I hoped to find her filling it, but when some other pretty girl was pouring I hardly noticed my disappointment. Everything changed when I saw her perform. I had checked out her band on the web as promised. I wasn't impressed. It wasn't bad, but I certainly wouldn't go to a show to see them. However, if they were opening for someone I did want to see, then I considered them icing on the cake. A few months later, such a scenario presented itself.

~ She was very talented. Her voice was so lovely that every time she backed the lead singer I was forced to recognize what a terrible singer he was. This band had about a dozen players crammed on stage. There was plenty of sound to blur the focus from the lead voice, but when she sang harmony I wanted so badly to hear harmony. Ha! I can assure you it was not her fault. In a band of this size at least 3 instruments were supporting the melody at all times. The notes they should have been singing were clear. He was clearly all over the damn place, everywhere but with her. When it was done my mates and I were all in agreement. We were smitten and she should go solo.

~ The very next day, I did not feel like coffee. There's a bar over the coffee shop so I went top side for a drink. There she was, just her, not even the bartender was in sight. She didn't remember me from before. She didn't even work here anymore. She had just come by to see her friends, drop off a disk of her solo work, and leave. That's when she got roped into keeping an eye on the bar for a moment. It felt like a moment, a fraction of a moment. In the time it took to state the facts above the bartender was back, and she had to run off to class. Hold on! Did she say solo work? The bartender wanted to play it right away. I insisted on it. Alas, there was a cable missing from the sound equipment.

~ This is how my dilemma started. After a month or two I thought I'd be able to find her new music online. Instead I found her blog. I was still in the hope of running into her yet again and hitting it off. Therefore, reaping the wealth of knowledge her blog surely contained about her seemed like an awfully stalkerly thing to do. I read one article. It was terrific writing! She must have been a writing major or something. She had beauty and brains -Lord help me! I filed it under temptation and left it alone, until yesterday.

~ Yesterday was a year from my last glimpse of her, give or take some months. I was waiting for paint to dry. I was quite bored. I clicked on the bookmarks menu hoping to find something interesting to dwell on. There it was, a bright orange "B" sitting next to her name, calling my name. "I'll never see her again." I thought. "What harm could it do now?"

~ Funny, charming, interesting, heart warming, at times heart wrenching- it was a beautiful blog by a beautiful woman who, it turns out, was a creative writing minor. In the end it made me quite sad. In the last entries she wrote about packing up and moving on with her post college life. I felt like she was putting my hopes in boxes, sealing them shut, and moving out of my reach. I don't know if she was really crushing the first time I met her. I don't know if she could see me that time I could have sworn she was singing right to me. I really doubt that she'll even remember me. Most of all, I don't know if she'll ever check her abandoned blog and find the comment I left her.

~ Yep. I only intended to steal a look and leave like a thief in the night, like an outright voyeur. Three-fourths of the way through the first year of her blog she called me out. Granted, I wasn't reading back in 2006, but she blogged that she was fully aware a lot of somebodies were reading her blog. She said that looking and not commenting was kind of creepy. She said to comment. So, I said:

"I just read your entire blog. I was a fan of your [band] work. I went searching for your solo work. I've never had the pleasure. I found this instead. Nice."

~ I have renewed hope now. This time, it's to someday find my mailbox containing an envelope containing a disk containing her music. In the meantime, I think I'll try to find my music again.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

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January 14, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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January 18, 2010  

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